^ Irresponsibility Toward Others
It’s funny where you get your life lessons. I don’t go tochurch anymore; I did plenty of that in the first 30 years of my life, enoughfor the rest of my lifetime. I don’t read the bible, I don’t patronizetelevangelists or do any of the things most people would say I ought to do inorder to gain guidance on Life Lessons.
I do watch a little TV on DVD. I do read a lot. I doresearch.
One of the shows we recently got involved with was “Buffythe Vampire Slayer.” I came to this show with a lot of hesitation. While Iliked the premise – tough girl kicks butt and doesn’t need help doing it – Iwas a little skeptical of how appealing I’d find a teen-oriented show that wasmore camp than substance. (Let’s face it; I have limited time. I don’t want tosquander precious hours watching something vapid or pointless.) But watch it Idid, and what do you know – it surprised me. Repeatedly. I identified much toomuch with Buffy, who walked a lonely and misunderstood path as the Only Slayer.And we consumed it quickly, watching many episodes a night.
The most recent episode had a heated exchange between Buffyand Spike. (Spike is a vampire who can’t hurt humans because he wasexperimented on by the military; they put a chip in his head that causedexcruciating pain when he tried to strike a human, much less drink from one. SoSpike becomes a friend of sorts to Buffy, even a comrade. And eventually herlover. But Buffy never fully commits to Spike. She can’t conscience her owndarkness, and that’s what he represents to her.) Buffy has once again casuallyused or abused Spike and his devotion to her, and in his anger he tries to takewhat he is not entitled to. He behaves boorishly, but I see how he’s acting outof pain and out of deprivation. I see that he feels used by her, and hismistreatment in the face of his own vulnerability almost undoes him. He lashesout at her, and then implicates her in is own bad behaviour. He accuses her ofbeing “irresponsible” in how she treats him.
It made me think of my own behaviour. To whom have I beenirresponsible? And how much blame do I place on myself for others’ irresponsible treatment of me? It all reminds me of one ofmy favourite Kahlil Gibran quotes:
For what is evil butgood tortured by its own hunger and thirst?