Difficult is as difficult does

One of my coworkers has a reputation for being "difficult." This seemed rather bizarre to me, as I have never found him difficult. That seems like an excessively pejorative word. I find him charismatic, opinionated, and at times direct. But difficult? Not even remotely. Difficult people are obstacles. They obfuscate. On purpose.

I am in the minority on this more favourable view, though, and it makes me wonder if I am not seeing the truth. Am I coloring my perceptions because I don't want to see him that way? I recall other times I have willingly declined to see what others saw. It sometimes worked out badly. But more often than not I saw the truth when others did not.

I asked my coworker if he felt he was difficult to work with. He said "He could be at times." I like candor on the job, I like being told what I need to know both good and bad, so I had shared what I'd been told, and he did not seem overly phased by the label. So maybe I was making too much fuss about it. In my mind, though, I recalled Oscar Wilde's quote about reality, at least as it existed post-absinthe imbibement. He said:

“After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see them as they are not. Finally you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.”

I ask myself: am I seeing things as they are? Or as I wish they were? It seems important for me to be sure I know what I'm seeing, especially in this instance. It's instinctual, this need to evaluate my perspective. So here I heed my gut, and it says ... yep. He's difficult.

What a shame.