Playing the fool
There are lots of good idioms involving "fools" (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/playing+the+fool). I always liked such phrases, because they reminded me of royal history and courtiers and jesters, something that's long fascinated me. It seems it must have been so luxurious yet simple to have lived when people could be paid to entertain in court. Unlike today's "entertainers," who are higher paid than the folks they entertain.I wonder if it was liberating to be a Fool back then. Maybe then it was: a safe place to stay, good food to eat, the only real threat being losing favour with your employer for tired jokes or unfunny antics. You could be creative and silly, and maybe silliness fed into creativity. How could that have been bad?This reminds me of a great quote: "There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap." -- Cynthia Heimel(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynthia_Heimel)I have taken foolish leaps before. OH, so many foolish leaps. I thought as I aged I'd regret them less; I thought I'd really start to embrace Cynthia's mindset, which is so refreshing and pure. Certainly there have been rare occasions where Playing the Idiot really made things better: lightened a mood, made someone else more comfortable with their own situation, opened a door to a deeper relationship.But I'm not there yet; I still regret foolish leaps, foolish LAPSES in judgment. For me, I still spend the vast majority of my Playing the Fool time feeling like exactly that -- the Fool. Not creative. Not positive. Just stupid and clueless.So in my world, being a Fool is not fun. Or funny. Although I am by no means the only fool. I know TONS of other fools, too. People who are just so clueless they seem to have mentally checked out. They don't see obvious things, or they don't act in their own best interests. They are just ... occupying space. And that's not funny. That's kind of sad.There's also the even more demoralizing situation, of being Played the Fool BY a Fool. That takes the cake in bottom-rung terms.No more Playing the Fool for me. Breaching that "thin line between brilliant creativity and the most gigantic idiot" is just too much of a gap for me. I have to be an Adult. I have Responsibilities to meet. Bills to pay. Obligations to fulfill. Being brilliantly creative is for people who don't have relationships to tend, rent to pay, people to impress.And, it occurred to me today: I recall that I don't suffer fools easily ... so what does it mean if I believe myself to be a fool? That is just an unwinnable situation, isn't it?